※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Hands to Hair
以雙手觸碰你的頭髮
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
And still Youzen sat unmoving, staring blankly at the mirror. Taikoubou was silent, observing his reflection with that same odd emotion playing over his features.
楊戩呆滯的看著鏡子，依然坐著不動。太公望則保持沉默，從鏡中的倒影可看到，一些十分怪異的表情正展現在他的臉上。
"...Get out." The clipped voice that spoke the words didn't sound like his, it was so tight and hoarse.
「…出去。」簡短的一句話，聲音卻十分緊繃和沙啞——完全不像他的聲音似的。
Taikoubou sighed. "I was done anyway. Whatever - just think about it, okay?" He walked out of the room, whistling a jaunty tune.
太公望嘆息，「無所謂，我都經已完成。總之，你就好好想一想吧，好嗎？」他吹著輕快的口哨步出房間。
The door shut behind him.
門亦跟隨著他步出而關上。
----
[Youzen]
[楊戩]
Damn him.
詛咒他。
Damn him to the deepest cauldrons of Unchuushi's experiments.
恨恨的詛咒他會大禍臨頭，成為雲中子的實驗品。
*Damn it*.
『詛咒它。』
Just who did Taikoubou think he was, anyway?
太公望以為自己是誰呀！
It had been bad enough conceding his suusu surpassed him in ability and will from the first. Worse yet, with the progression of time, that he'd been unable to stop thinking about him even if he wasn't present. And now - now this? The only other person who had made him so aware of his fragility was Gyokutei Shinjin, and even then that had been comfortably within the bonds of master and pupil. He didn't want to consider what bonds there were, or, more accurately, what bonds he *wanted* there to be between Taikoubou and himself.
承認師叔的能力和理想都𠗕駕於自己已是第一件最壞的事。更糟的是，隨著時間的流逝，即使師叔不在場，他都會不能控制地想起他。而現在…現在這種情況？
唯一能令他察覺到自己脆弱的人是玉鼎真人，但這全是因為師傅和弟子的關係。他不願去想這究竟是甚麼關係，或許正確一點，他「希望」和太公望有甚麼關係。
/You dig your own grave, doushi./
『道士，你根本在自挖墳墓。』
Yet at the same time a wavering spark of hope flickered. *Could* he trust this person? Would it be all right to free himself, as it had been with his shishou? He desperately hoped so. He'd been wearing a mask for far too long, had been walking with a painted smile that chafed more with every time those green eyes met his own.
在同一時間，一股希望燃起——他可以相信這個人嗎？
他可以向他開拓心扇嗎？就像以前和他師傅一樣。他真的十分希望能夠，因為他經已戴上面具太久，每當他的眼睛和那雙綠色眼眸的主人有所接觸時，那個經常掛在臉上的慣有笑容都會解怒到對方。
//Don't shut yourself up, Youzen. You shut out so many things other people have to offer.//
『楊戩，不要關閉你自己。你經已拒絕太多人家應該給予你的。』
/I never wanted to, shishou,/ he thought wearily. /But by the time suusu came along, it was too late to stop what I’d been doing all my life./
『師傅，我根本不想要，』楊戩疲乏的想。『師叔經已來得太遲，因為我已停止不了我現有的生活方式。』
//you don’t have to be what others want you to be all the time//
『你不用經常做著大家所期希的人啊。』
He remembered the look on Taikoubou's face after he had just removed his gloves, and suddenly, painfully, made up his mind.
楊戩想起了太公望剛脫下手套時的神情，突然痛苦的下定了決定。
----
Taikoubou was perched on a rock ledge near his house, using Suupushan as a convenient cushion. Youzen paused at a distance, unsure of how to approach them, when Taikoubou opened his eyes and said something to his reijuu that had Suupu departing.
太公望正在他房子附近的一塊岩石上，把四不像當成睡墊，休閒的躺在其身上憩息。
楊戩停在遠處，不知道應否打擾他們。
太公望張開眼，向四不說了一些話，跟著四不就走了。
The invitation was obvious enough. He hauled himself onto the ledge and sat next to his suusu, noting that Taikoubou had put his gloves on again.
這樣的邀請真的夠古怪。楊戩拖拖拉拉的步向那岩石，坐到他的師叔身旁，並發現太公望經已再次戴上手套。
"Hey," Taikoubou said, not looking at him. "You thought about it already?"
「嗨！」太公望故意不看向他的說。「你已經想通了？！」
He nodded, his throat suddenly dry.
見狀，他的喉嚨不禁乾涸起來；他只好點頭。
"Any big conclusions, then?" Taikoubou sounded odd; with a start, Youzen picked out the faintest undertones of hurt in his voice. /My fault,/ he thought with a pang. /Oh, suusu-/
「那麼，有甚麼重要的結論嗎？」太公望的聲音聽起來十分怪異；開始時，楊戩敏銳的察覺到，在他的聲音裡隱藏著不明顯的受傷語調。
『我的錯，』楊戩心痛的想。『啊，師叔…』
"That I'm not the only one who made sacrifices." He reached out a bandaged hand hesitantly, placing it on top of his suusu's glove. And Taikoubou finally turned to face him, something like wonder in his eyes.
「我並不是唯一一個作出犧牲。」他有點遲疑的伸出他那包紮著的手，輕放在他師叔的手套上。
終於，太公望轉頭面對楊戩，眼中充滿疑惑。
"I’m sorry."
「對不起。」
"You know, then?"
「你知道？！」
"Not everything. But I do know that suusu doesn't take his gloves off for just anybody." He squeezed the gloved hand under his own as best as he could. "...Thank you."
「不是完全知道。但是我知道師叔是不會為其他人而脫下手套的。」
他用盡全力，緊握著那隻戴著手套的手。
「…多謝。」
"You aren't, and never have been 'just anybody' to me," Taikoubou told him quietly, with no trace of his usual flippancy. "And I only wanted to touch your hair."
「你不是，我從來沒有把你當作是『其他人』…」完全沒有了平常的漫不經心，太公望靜靜的告訴他。
「還有，我只是想摸一摸你的頭髮罷了。」
"Suusu," he protested, feeling a slight warmth steal into his face.
「師叔！」他想反駁，感覺到一股熱力從臉上傳來。
"It's the truth." With a shrug, Taikoubou lifted his other hand, looking at it contemplatively. "Youzen, I don't wear these gloves just 'cos I think they look good. It's a last resort to prevent me from getting too close to anything or anyone so I still retain some objectivity when doing stuff. It's easier on both sides if I don't touch things with my bare hands, you know? The only," he bit his lip before continuing, "the only other person I ever took them off for was Fugen."
「我說真的。」聳肩，太公望提起自己另一隻手，沉默地看著它。
「楊戩，我並不是因為這雙手套好看才戴著它們的。它們是防止我太過於接近其他人或物的最後依靠，令我可以保持理智的去行動。你應該知道的，只要我不用手去接觸任何事物，這樣對雙方面都會比較好。唯一…」太公望咬下嘴唇，「另外一個我曾經為他而脫下手套的人是普賢。」
Youzen blinked.
楊戩呆了。
"I can tell you," Taikoubou continued, "it hurts to see you parading round in plaster, okay? Especially when I’ve already seen what you are." Those green eyes pierced through him like emerald spears of light. "Youzen, *listen* - you don't have to be anything but what you want to be around me. You got that? I don’t want a Tensai Doushi. I don’t want a perfect doll. I want someone who's vain and admits he can’t sing. Someone who knows it’s okay to mess up now and then because not even sennin get it right every time. You *got* that?"
「我可以告訴你，」太公望繼續道，「當看到你戴著面具般四處遊蕩時我會心痛，知道麼？而且還是在我經已看過你的原本面貌之後…」綠色的眼眸像是充滿烈火般的看穿他，「楊戩，『聽著』！——在我身邊，你不用做任何人，你可以做回自己。你明白嗎？我不要甚麼天才道士。我不要一個完美的娃娃。我要的是一個會自負和承認自己不懂唱歌，一個在混亂時明白這是正常的，因為就算是仙人也好，也會有失手的時候。你明白沒有？！」
He swallowed. "Suusu, I -"
楊戩吞口水。「師叔，我…」
A gloved finger placed itself over his mouth. "Never mind. Just tell me this. Do you trust me enough to let me know you?"
一隻戴著手套的手指點住他的唇。「算吧。只需告訴我，你願意完全相信我，讓我去了解你嗎？」
"Suusu..." Avoiding that bright gaze, he hunted for the right words to say. "I want to. I really want to, but I…I'm too used to being what I am now."
「師叔…」逃避著那深情的凝視，他正找尋正確的話語回答。
「我想，我真的很想，但我…我實在太習慣現在的我了。」
"Are you happy being what you think you are?" Taikoubou asked gently.
「那麼，做著那樣的你，快樂嗎？」太公望溫柔的問。
He stared into verdant depths, feeling a vague sense of light-headedness. "No."
楊戩目不轉睛，無經驗的深刻注視，一股迷糊的感覺傳達腦海。
「不！」
(↑燕子在這段可以說是完全是猜的，希望各位能幫燕子譯譯看。)
Taikoubou reached up and touched his cheek briefly, a smile breaking over his face. "Then we'll just have to change that, huh?"
太公望坐起身，輕觸他的臉頰。在他的臉上同時展現出一個絕美的笑容。
「那麼，我們就需要改變它，是不？」
Youzen only nodded, the sudden wave of intense relief breaking over him rendering him incapable of speech. And since all he could think of afterwards was that Taikoubou really fit very nicely in the crook of his arms, and that he'd never known suusu smelt a little like fresh-cut grass, or a spring breeze that kept you warm even if you were sleeping outside without anything to cover you, it wasn't too important anyway.
楊戩只是點頭，突然的一瞬間，一股熱情從內裡釋放出來，最後他能記得的是，太公望那嬌小的身軀剛好能夠讓他兩手抱住，而且配合得天衣無縫。還有的是，他從來不知道他的師叔身上有著一股微微的清香——像青草，像舂天的風，那感覺就像在郊外睡覺，就算不蓋上任何東西，都可以令你感到溫暖。但這並不重要了…
Somewhere in the Houshindai, Gyokutei Shinjin was smiling.
在封神台的某一處，玉鼎真人在微笑。
= owari =
—《完》—
Notes:
1) Timeline? Sometime after the end of vol. 23, most likely. Since Fujisaki-sensei never mentioned anything about sennin living conditions that I know of, forgive me for taking a few Creative Liberties here and there. =_=a
2) No one will believe me if I try to say this fic wasn't based on the premise that I think Bou-chan needs to lose his gloves Big Time, so I won't waste my breath denying it. >P oh, and forgive me for using such a dumb way to rope Bou-chan into brushing Youzen’s hair. *runs away*
3) C&C MUCH appreciated. I think Bou-chan in particular is flatly OOC. o_<
--Shi Lin
《燕子翻譯後記》
天，終於完成！！這是燕子第一個想到的念頭。(我想後記不用我譯吧…饒了燕子可以嗎？燕已經三天都不眠不休了的啊…)
燕子發現，原來自己讀時沒問題，但當要譯時就問題多多了。因為讀時不明白的字可大約想像到，但當要仔細的翻譯時就問題來了。-_-
其實這篇翻譯有好多地方都經過修飾，因為燕子發現，好多地方照著譯的話都怪怪的啊。其實篇中不對勁的地方滿多，希望大家讀完後能給燕子一點意見，讓燕子能作出更好的修改版來。
沒錯啦，燕子遲些會再把此翻譯版修改，希望能讓各位看到最好的文章。
＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
＜辛苦了~~^^ bylakeside(雞蛋裡挑骨頭~^^b)＞
海燕子殿真是辛苦了呢~ ^^;;
沒想到居然有人這麼有心，翻譯其實根本不是人做的事啊~(汗~)
在此致上我的敬意和謝意~~ 真是太厲害了~~
雖然妳可能覺得美中不足，不過我真的覺得翻得很好了~~
翻譯總是會無法兼顧的嘛~ 可是我個人是覺得有很多地方抓得很棒哪~簡潔有力~比原作還精準~(小聲小聲~^^;;)
嗯~不過有些小地方只有像我這麼無聊的人才會雞蛋裡挑骨頭，妳就姑妄聽之吧~
The invitation was obvious enough. He hauled himself onto the ledge…
這裡的obvious應該是明顯清楚的意思吧…所以個人覺得也許可以翻成"這邀請之意再清楚不過了"，或是"這明擺著是請君入甕"之類的…
呃~ 只是說說而已~ 其實也許海燕子殿早就想過了…只是覺得譯成"這樣的邀請真的夠古怪"比較生動吧~ ^^bb (我承認我滿龜毛的…汗~)
嗯…還有一段…He stared into verdant depths, feeling a vague sense of light-headedness.
他望進那翠綠的深邃之中，不禁感到一陣模糊的眩暈(或者要說頭重腳輕也可以吧~ 只是剛好和英文顛倒而已~^^bb)
海燕子殿的翻譯其實已經很好了~
老實說，如果我來翻也不會更好的，這裡只是提供一點小小的建議而已~ 真的很感謝海燕子殿的辛勞嘍~~ ^o^